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Couples Challenges – The Series – Successfully Navigating the Lifestyle Aka Swinging

Many couples face a point in their relationship when the feelings of boredom and monotony begin to set in. The couple begins to feel like they’ve lost the spice and spontaneity that once came so easily. Now they have to work for that same excitement which tends to make things seem tedious and stale. This dilemma particularly takes place in the bedroom. Sex has turned into the same thing day in and day out. That is, if sex is still in the picture.

As a response to this “crisis in the bedroom”, many couples begin a discussion of opening their sexual relationship up to include others. As an attempt to spice things up and rekindle a dying flame, the idea that having sex with others seems like a viable option. After all, that would certainly be something new and potentially exciting. This line of reasoning is a very tricky and dangerous direction to follow if not done wisely.

Included are some quick tips I have gathered over the years of working with couples who have presenting in couples counseling with issues of the Lifestyle aka swinging and how to potentially navigate this minefield successfully.

1. Is this really about sex or something else? Have many very frank conversations with your partner about the motivations driving them to take on such a risky venture. Perhaps exploring these motivations with a therapist will help to uncover the true desires and help to ensure the intention is pure. For example, if you are looking to get into the Lifestyle because you are falling out of love with your partner and this is a way to make the relationship tolerable, this is the wrong reason and trouble will follow.

2. Your marriage/relationship always comes first: Under no circumstances should the other party or the Lifestyle in general come before your partner. You must enter into this adventure as a couple and always stay a couple. Do not let anyone or anything separate the two of you or attempt to threaten the marital bond.

3. Both must be willing participants: It is imperative that both partners want to take this road. If one of you is on the fence about it; wait and don’t proceed. Again, talking to a tolerant, open minded therapist could be beneficial in exploring the hesitations and fears and help the communication of those concerns to your partner.

4. Clear and open communication: Venturing into the Lifestyle successfully is going to take the clearest communication you have ever done in your life. You need to be able to discuss your likes and dislikes, your dos and don’t, your fears and concerns just to name a few. And, your partner is going to have to hear you. If you do not feel heard, you will not feel safe and put on the brakes.

5. Make the rules: Write up a contract addressing what is OK and not OK to do. This contract needs to be very detailed and attempt to explore all possible scenarios. Leave nothing uncovered.

6. Get in a Lifestyle chatroom: Talk to other couples who are successfully navigating the Lifestyle. Find out what they are doing to make it work and discuss your concerns and see what they have to say. This may help ease some of your fears and present ideas that the two of you may not have thought of.

7. Practice safe sex: Just like you, your partner needs to know that safety is being honored at all times. There is enough for the two of you to deal with as it is. Don’t add this easy solution into the mix.

8. Create a safety word: Come up with a word or phrase that when said, everything stops. Under all conditions, circumstances and situations, when this word is said, you both stop what you are doing, thank your new friend for their time and leave to join up with your mate at in a safe location. Both of you can say the word at any time and it must be respected. If it isn’t, that will be the end of the Lifestyle.

9. Ask how your partner is feeling: Constantly check-in with your partner about how they are feeling. Your sensitivity to their feelings is what helps to create safety. It shows that they are your priority above the Lifestyle.

Successfully navigating the Lifestyle is extremely difficult to do. Again, take the time to thoroughly explore the motivations to enter the Lifestyle to begin with. Make sure those motivations are honorable and not a threat to the relationship. The Lifestyle can be fun when done correctly and incredibly destructive when not.

If you would like more information on how to successfully navigate the Lifestyle, feel free to contact me through my website or blog by clicking on the links provided below.

The Essential Furniture That Your House Needs

If you are on a tight budget but you really need to buy home furniture, there is an easy way to solve that problem. Buy only the essential furniture that you need. Do not spend money on items that you don’t have any use for. For instance if you do not have a big space in your living room, you can buy a sofa and a center table. No need of buying other items like a coffee table or a side table because you won’t have any much use for those. The essential furniture are those that you cannot do without. A comfortable home is not because it has a lot of furniture but because it has the important ones that can help you do your daily tasks.

For the living room, the essential furniture would usually be the sofa, a center table and a TV rack. Usually the living room is also your entertainment room where you sit down and bond with the family, watch TV or welcome in guests. Buy a couch or a sofa that comes in within your budget range. If you have a small space for the living room, choose a light sofa, preferably made of steel. Buying a large sofa will only make your living room look crowded and small. Find a good center table that can look elegant with your sofa. If you are getting a sofa made of steel, you may also get a table with the same color and materials used. Ask around, some home furniture store offer you sets and they could come in cheaper.

Your kitchen is also one place you want to add furniture to. Find sturdy items that can be useful for your cooking. There is no need to put up furniture that are for décor only in the kitchen because it is once part of the house that relies on functionality. Home bathroom furniture are similar to the kitchen furniture, it has to be bought because it is functional and not because of its design.

The dining room area’s essential furniture are of course, the tables and chairs. The design of the table will depend on the number of people living in your house. If there are only four of you, you can get a round or square table that can seat four. But if you have a big family, a rectangle table or a big round table is usually the perfect one. The sturdiest dining room table is usually made of wood. This can be bulky but can look very classy. You can also opt to choose for steel. This is a good choice if you have a limited space in our dining area. Do not forget the chairs. Choose chairs that are comfortable and can go along great with the table. Usual dining room furniture come in sets, when you buy a table, it would usually come in with matching chairs.

Lastly, the most important part of the home and the most private is the bedroom. The essential furniture that can be found in your bedroom is probably the bed. Home bedroom furniture should always be because of comfort rather than style. You may also want to get a dresser or a cabinet with your bed when buying home furniture. These two are the most basic furniture for your room and you can actually function when you have these.

Buying furniture should never be costly. It is up to you to be smart on what to buy and not to buy. The important thing here is to know what you and your family members need. There is no certain furniture that comes in consistent for every household except for the essential ones. After you have bought the important furniture, you can always spend the remaining money for home decor furniture.

Insure Your Travel Plans to Avoid Making a Slip-Up on the Slopes

Research carried out by many travel companies reveals that it can cost as little as a fraction over £10 to insure a family of four for a week’s holiday in Spain, which represents a fraction of the cost of that holiday, considering the benefits which are offered.

Many policies include cover for any medical expenses arising from accident or illness of up to £5million. However, policies covering winter sports vary widely in both their price and the scope of cover offered, and exclusions and caveats are very common, according to the website.

One travel expert said that no-one looking to take a holiday, regardless of the time of year, destination and length of their stay, should even set out without having insurance in place. A costly family holiday soon becomes even more so if it is a winter sports break, as you could potentially find yourself heavily out of pocket through unforeseen expenses, which are likely to hurt even more if you have already shelled out large sums on buying special clothing and/or equipment specifically for your break.

In this case, foregoing travel cover is simply not an option, a good look at the small print is essential to ensure that buyers know exactly what is covered by their policy. A standard policy will give cover in eventualities such as cancellation, loss of or damage to baggage and medical expenses, while some policies may also include extras such as cover for sports equipment, ski pass, or going off-piste, but it’s essential that you speak to your insurer so that you can be made aware of the clauses, and more specifically, exclusions from your policy while you still have the chance to find alternative cover if necessary.

Individuals and travellers who make more than one foreign trip each year are also advised that annual travel insurance cover is likely to work out cheaper than multiple single-trip policies.

Tips for travellers taking out ski insurance include to check the amount of medical cover provided. £1million is a recommended minimum for Europe, and £2million for the USA and rest of the world. At least £1million of personal liability cover is recommended. Ensure the amount of your baggage and belongings cover is sufficient for all your winter sports gear, and be sure that your ski equipment is covered while it is in transit as well as on the slopes.

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